Acceptable, unacceptable secrets in relations. A strong relationship is supposed to be founded on honesty, trust among others values. When you are in a serious relationship, you and your partner share your lives, meaning you go through life ups and downs together, sharing good and bad moments. Therefore, you should absolutely be honest with each other. Does that mean that you shouldn’t have any secrets between the both of you? Are relationships supposed to be secrets free? This article will investigate the type of acceptable secrets in a relationship and the unacceptable ones.
ACCEPTABLE SECRETS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Honesty has an important place in any romantic and serious relationship. But it does not mean that we have to share absolutely everything with our partners. As an individual, we have some rights, and those rights prevail even in relationships. We do not have to share everything. There are some things you can keep to yourself in a relationship; those are kind of acceptable secrets. They are acceptable because causing no harm to the relationship. Things you are entitled to and you can keep secret include.
- Having some privacy, your own “you time’, your own space. Being with someone does not deprive you of this right.
- Not sharing everything about your past lives. You can share what you desire; it is not an obligation. You can keep some things to yourself.
- Everything that does not impact or affect the relationship does not have to be shared. You can do it at your own discretion.
Being with someone does not give them the right to know absolutely everything about you. A partner has the right to know things related to the relationship, which would influence or impact the relationship. You must share the things that could affect one way or another, positively or negatively, the relationship. You are still an individual with your own rights. Therefore, a partner should not seek to know every bit of your life; doing so may show that they have a trust issue, maybe something much more dangerous mental problems.
UNACCEPTABLE SECRETS IN RELATIONSHIPS
it is recommended not to keep anything from your partner, which could harm, hurt even jeopardise the relationship. Those are unacceptable secrets. They are unacceptable because they can create severe damages in a relationship. They should not be withheld; doing so can lead to severe consequences. Things not to keep secrets in relationships include:
- Finances: secrets should not be kept about finances, especially financial difficulties. If you lose your job, you should let your partner know. You should let your partner know if you have some issues with money management. You should let them know if you lend or borrow money.
- Infidelity: if you are drawn to someone else or have an affair with someone else, that suggests there is a problem in your relationship. Communicate with your partner to find a solution.
- Addictions: you should let your partner knows if you are subject to any type of addiction, including drug substances, alcohol, gambling, ‘shop alcoholic’, …
- Legal issues: you should let your partner know if you have a legal problem. You sue someone, or you are being sued….
- Keeping an illness secret: you should share with your partner a known, severe, life-threatening illness.
Anything that can threaten the peace and bring havoc in your relationship should be shared. Some secrets are more complicated than others to talk about. But it is always better to share them because they will create more damage if not shared but discovered. You can create the setting and environment to share a secret with your partner according to their personality.
Acceptable, unacceptable secrets in relations. You are not bound to share everything with your partner. There are some things you can keep to yourself, the acceptable secrets, and some things you should share with your partner; you must not keep them from them, the unacceptable secrets.
Do you have any other ideas on the matter? please share in the comments section.